Tag Archive: healing
June 2010
Last month I shared a brief overview of the International House of Prayer, its purposes, goals, and needs. This month, I will focus on another aspect of our ministry—Restoring the Foundations, or RTF. Restoring the Foundations was founded in 1992 by Chester and Betsy Kylstra to bring healing and freedom to the body of Christ. Based on Scriptural principles, its chief goal is to remove hindrances to growing in intimacy with God; providing freedom to love and pursue Him wholeheartedly; which is virtually impossible for the broken and wounded. Another important purpose is to obtain healing from issues that hinder relationships with others. We offer two different formats—Thorough and Issue-Focused; ministering in teams to those seeking wholeness. We have used RTF since this ministry began in 2006, and I have used it since 2003. Since then we have ministered to over 160 people, many of whom were radically transformed through it.
Every believer struggles with basically four different areas in the process of becoming more like Christ, and growing in our relationships with others; each of these areas is covered in the ministry sessions. The results of generational sins; lies we believe about ourselves, others, and God; emotional hurts, and demonic oppression make up the majority of obstacles to living the abundant life Jesus paid for us to enjoy. RTF provides both effective ministry and important tools to enable individuals to get free and stay free, when coupled with the receiver’s persistence to make godly choices as they continue their journey. It is not a quick fix, but rather a proven method, using an integrated approach to healing that other similar ministries typically do not provide. There is more information on these four areas and the formats offered on our website, along with downloadable applications for ministry under the link Healing and Restoration.
We also offer training for those who want to help others find freedom, by ministering as part of our team. More information about that opportunity can also be found on our website, under the link Training and Equipping. RTF is one facet of our ministry that continues the work Jesus began in His earthly life; destroying the works of the enemy in the lives of people created to know and love Him. Sadly, most that we minister to have been wounded in the Church; often by leaders who are wounded themselves, and therefore, unable to effectively lead God’s people into wholeness. For this reason, members of our team are required to receive personal ministry as part of their training. I can personally testify to the power and success of RTF after receiving ministry during my training seven years ago; it was truly life changing! Testimonies of others who have benefitted from it can be found on our website as well.
Over the last few months, several individuals from Atlanta, Miami, Auburn, and Americus have come here for RTF ministry—this is exciting, and we praise the Lord for this opportunity to reach beyond our community! None of this would be possible if it were not for you, our faithful partner, as you continue to support us through your prayers and gifts. We so greatly appreciate your willingness to co-labor with the Lord and with us, as we see Him heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free—bearing fruit that will last for eternity!
Blessings,
Charlene Hughes
Why Hurt People Hurt People by Joseph Mattera
There is an old adage: “Hurt people hurt people.”It is well known that those who have been emotionally damaged tend to inflict their hurt and pain on other people. For example, a large percentage of those who have been sexually abused become the abusers of others; those who suffered under an alcoholic parent often themselves cause their future family to suffer because of their drunken stupors.Until we as a church deal with the whole person as shown in 1 Thessalonians 5:23 our congregations will be filled with people who are spiritually gifted but act like emotional infants. As in other words, the church must deal with emotional health and not just spiritual health and power.The following are common traits hurt people display in their interactions with others.
I. Hurt people often transfer their inner anger onto their family and close friends
Often those around them become the recipients of harsh tones and fits of rage because they have unknowingly become the vicarious recipients of transferred rage.
II. Hurt people interpret every word spoken to them through the prism of their pain
Because of their pain, ordinary words are often misinterpreted to mean something negative towards them.
Because of this, they are extremely sensitive and act out of pain instead of reality.
III. Hurt people interpret every action through the prism of their pain
Their emotional pain causes them to suspect wrong motives or evil intent behind other people’s actions towards them.
IV. Hurt people often portray themselves as victims and carry a “victim spirit”
Often hurt people can cry “racism,” “sexism,” “homophobia,” or often use the words “unjust” or “unfair” to describe the way they are being treated, even if there is no truth to this. (That is not to say that sometimes there really is racism or sexism in some instances; this is just used as an example.)
Hurt people have a hard time entering into a trusting relationship.
Hurt people often carry around a suspicious spirit.
V. Hurt people often alienate others and wonder why no one is there for them
They often continually hurt the ones they love and need the most with their self-destructive behavior.
VI. Hurt people have the emotional maturity of the age they received their (un-dealt with) hurt
For example, if a girl was raped by a man when she was 12 years old, unless she forgives that man and allows Christ to heal her heart and allay her fears, in that particular area of her life (sexuality with a man) her emotional growth will stop. Even when she reaches her later years she may still have the emotional maturity of a 12 year-old.
VII. Hurt people are often frustrated and depressed because past pain continually spills over into their present consciousness
In many instances, they may not even be aware of why they are continually frustrated or depressed because they have coped with pain by compartmentalizing it or layering it over with other things over time.
VIII. Hurt people often erupt with inappropriate emotion because particular words, actions, or circumstances “touch” and “trigger” past woundedness
I have been in situations with people in which there was a gross overreaction to a word I spoke or an action that was taken. Although I was shocked and thought this reaction came “out of left field” it was really the person responding to an accumulation of years of hurt and pain that could not help but spill over in various situations.
I myself have been in situations where I felt hurt, troubled, or overreacted to something because it touched a nerve with what I was still dealing with because of a wound I received in the past. In these situations I have attempted to reason through the situation as objectively as I can with much prayer and introspection so I would not say or do anything damaging to another person or myself.
IX. Hurt people often occupy themselves with busyness, work, performance, and/or accomplishments as a way of compensating for low self-esteem
Often ministers are not motivated by a love for Jesus but a drive to accomplish. It is important that pastors and ministers be led by the Spirit instead of being driven to succeed.
A minister should not preoccupy himself with making things happen. He or she should walk in integrity and humility and allow God to open up doors and provide a ministerial platform according to their assignment for their life and ministry.
X. Hurt people often attempt to medicate themselves with excessive entertainment, drugs, alcohol, pornography, sexual relationships, or hobbies as a way to forget their pain and run from reality
Until the church learns to deal with and emphasize the emotional life and health of the believer, the church will be filled with half-Christians who pray and read the Bible but find no victory because they do not face the woundedness in their souls.
XI. Hurt people have learned to accommodate their private “false self” or “dark side” which causes them to be duplicitous and lack integrity
Often their private life is different from their public life, which causes hypocrisy and compounds feelings of guilt, condemnation, and depression.
XII. Hurt people are often self-absorbed with their own pain and are unaware that they are hurting other people
They are often insensitive to other people because their emotional pain limits their capacity for empathy and their capacity for self-awareness.
I have been in numerous situations when someone hurt me and kept on going in the relationship without ever apologizing because they had no clue what they were doing.
XIII. Hurt people are susceptible to demonic deception
I am convinced that most of the divisions in the church are caused by saints who lack emotional health and project their pain onto others.
Satan works in darkness and deception, and stays away from the light. Hurt people often have destructive habit-patterns that are practiced in the dark. Hence, their mind becomes a breeding ground for satanic infiltration and deception.
If the church would deal more with the emotional health of the individual, there would be less of a foothold for demonic infiltration. Also, there would be stronger relationships, stronger marriages, healthier children, and a more balanced approach to ministry with less of a chance of pastoral and congregational burnout.
XIV. God often purposely surfaces pain so hurt people can face reality
Whether it is because of a marriage problem, or continual personal conflicts on the job, God often allows conflict and spillover because He wants the infection to stop spreading and the person to be healed.
Often Christians are fighting the devil and blaming him for conflict when in essence God often allows conflict so that people would be motivated to dig deeper into their lives to deal with root causes of destructive thought and habit patterns.
God’s purpose for us is that we would all be conformed to the image of Christ (Romans 8:29). This does not just happen with Bible studies, prayer, and times of glory but also in painful situations when we have to face what has been hurting us for many years.
I have noticed that these periods of surfacing woundedness often take place when people transition into the mid-life years of their upper thirties and later. Perhaps this is because by then they are old enough to understand by experience that there is something wrong and also that it is not too late to redeem their pain and restore relationships and maximize their purpose. Rarely is a person able or even willing to deal with and face pain when they hit their senior years (in their sixties or older). Most at this age have already become cynical, hard-hearted, and/or become so depressed they have become hopeless even though God is able to help them at any age.
XV. Hurt people need to forgive to be released and restored to freedom
The Gospel of St. John 20:23 says that we have to release the sins of others if we are going to be released. This means that if we do not forgive others then the very thing we have become victimized with will become a part of our life. For example, alcoholic fathers breed alcoholic sons if their sons do not forgive and release their fathers.
The good news is that, through the efficacious blood of Christ, we can all be healed and set free from all past hurts so we can comfort others with the same comfort we ourselves have received from God (2 Corinthians 1:4).
Truly our mess can become our message!
Each one of us must understand how to receive healing and keep it. When we understand God’s word on healing and act upon it, it brings forth a manifestation of healing in our physical bodies. Our goal is to receive the manifestation of healing and give our heavenly Father the glory for what Jesus has done for us.
Sickness is the result of an oppression by the devil.
Acts 10:38 – “…and Jesus went about doing good, and healing all who were oppressed by the devil; for God was with Him..”
The devil inflicts us with sickness and doesn’t like it when God’s Word brings healing and destroys his work. The devil will always try to re-establish his affliction by stealing the truth of the Word from us. We see this in Matthew 13:19 where it says, “When anyone hears the Word of the kingdom, and does not understand, the evil one comes and snatches away what has been sown in his heart. This is the one on whom seed was sown beside the road.”
The enemy wants to steal the Word before it can become firmly rooted in us to produce the healing. The devil knows that the Word of God is more powerful than his work… sickness, so he must try and cut off the Word in us before it gets rooted. Only seed rooted can produce a harvest.
Matthew 13:20 & 21 - “And the one on whom seed was sown on the rocky places, this one who hears the Word, and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no firm root in himself, but is only temporary, and when affliction or persecution arises because of the Word, immediately he falls away.”
When we receive the Word on healing and are prayed for and a healing takes place, we receive it with joy, but it must become firmly rooted in us because the devil will always try to inflict us with the very same symptoms to change our minds. Verse 21 says because of the Word, this affliction will be brought against us once again to cause us to fall away. The devil will once again bring the symptoms of the sickness to try and convince us that we are not healed. This is a lying vanity. The root meaning of a lying vanity is something that comes against you to change your mind. If the devil can cause us to look at symptoms instead of God’s promise, he can convince us to believe his lie. When we focus on the symptoms, pain or whatever it is, doubt and unbelief come to our mind and this gives entrance for fear to re-establish the sickness. We must keep our heart and mind fixed upon God and His promise.
Isaiah 26:3 – “I will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed upon Me.”
We need to hold fast to that which is good. We must allow the Word to take root so that it can complete the manifestation of healing. Jonah is an example of this. He was swallowed by the fish and was in the fish’s belly for three days and nights, yet he did not give up on God and His promise.
Jonah 2:8-9 - “Those who regard lying vanities forsake their faithfulness, but I will sacrifice to Thee with the voice of thanksgiving.”
Jonah decided not to believe a lying vanity, but to trust God and God delivered him out of his circumstance. Had Jonah believed the lie, he would have lost his faith and not received deliverance. How can we expect God to deliver us if we go by what the devil does rather than trust God?
So when the symptoms return, we must set our faith in God and His Word and tell the enemy, no matter what, we are not going to believe his lies.
James 4:7 – “Submit therefore to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you.”
“FEELING WHAT GOD FEELS”
“WHAT YOU FEEL I FEEL”
There is a wonderful song by Brian and Jenn Johnson that was released about three years ago and it is entitled, “Where You Go I’ll Go.” The majority of this song is directed to God the Father, and the chorus has the following words:
Where You go I go
What You say I say,
And what You pray I pray
As worship leaders we have led others in this song many times, and as powerful as it is, there is one additional phrase that we would have liked to have seen included . . . that being “What You feel I feel.” Although we know that we are all called to do what Jesus did—that being to pray what the Father prays, say what the Father says, and go where He directs us to go—we believe unless we are able to connect with His heart . . . and His feelings . . . it will be very difficult to fulfill this calling.
OVERLOOKING WHAT GOD FEELS AND ITS IMPACT ON OUR HEALING
As we continue to work with many people who come to find deeper healing and a greater level of intimacy with God and others, we frequently observe reoccurring themes. One of these themes is the lack of awareness of and connection with how God feels . . . not about our sins or our failures or our successes . . . but about US . . . you and me! Some of the people with whom we work may share that they ”know” how God sees them, but yet when we ask the question, “What do you think the Father feels about you?” or “How did the Father feel when that happened to you?”, they don’t even know what to say. This demonstrates a great disconnect between “head knowledge” and “heart experience.”
UNDERSTANDING THE EMOTIONS OF GOD . . . DOES HE HAVE THEM?
Before we go further, it is important to decide if the concept of God having emotions or feelings is biblical. Though there are some who may argue that God does not have feelings, Scripture has many references to the contrary. For example, in Jer. 31:3 it states the following in reference to the Lord and His people: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” The Hebrew word for “love” in this passage is the same word that is used in many places in the Old Testament and it is described as “having a strong emotional attachment to and desire either to possess or to be in the presence of the object,” and it includes the love between a man and a woman as well as the love that a parent has for a child. It’s more than a “loving action.” It’s also the related feelings. In Isa.66:13, again in reference to God and His people Israel, it states that “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you . . . “ This Hebrew word for “comfort” is used in many places in the Old Testament describing the actions and feelings of comfort, given from one to another. In the New Testament there are many examples of Jesus expressing emotion. Looking at just a few, John 13:23 makes reference to John as “. . . the disciple whom Jesus loved . . .” The word for “love” here does not refer to a “loving action” but rather to Jesus’ “tender affection” towards John. We know that Jesus wept (John 11:35), and we know that He was very angry when He dealt with the money changers in the temple (John 2:14-17). And as it states in John 14:9 when Jesus addressed Philip’s request that Jesus “show him the Father,” He replied “. . . anyone who has seen Me has seen the Father.” So, we can conclude that thefeelings of Jesus reflect the feelings of His Father (God).
WHY IS ANY OF THIS IMPORTANT?
You might be wondering, “Is it really all that important to know that the Father feels?” Our response would be “Yes, it matters a great deal!” To be able to say, “I know God loves me” is important. However, to be able to say, “Ifeel His love for me,” moves this fundamental truth from our head and to our heart. For example, when we are grieving over a significant loss—whether that be a loss from childhood or a loss today—when we can feel that the Father grieves with and for us, it draws us more deeply into His heart and opens the door for greater healing and intimacy with Him. It makes the words in Ps. 34:18 even more meaningful when it states (paraphrased) “When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you…” And in John 17:23, when Jesus spoke of the love of His Father, He said that the Father’s love for us is thesame as the love that He had for Jesus. To know that is very important, but to also feel this love from the Father takes it to another level . . . a level that we believe the Father desires for all of us! In addition, when we can feel the emotions of the Father—including His “cry” that we (individually and as a nation) turn our hearts to Him—it can motivate us in ways that otherwise doesn’t occur. If, as it says in Rom. 2:4 that it is the kindness or goodness of God that leads (motivates) us to change (repentance), but if I only know but are unable to feel His kindness and goodness towards me, then making the change that He desires (for my own good) will be more difficult.
DIFFICULTIES IN FEELING THE FATHER’S EMOTIONS . . . AND A PRAYER
There are many reasons why we don’t feel the Father’s emotions regarding us and others. In many cases our own walls of protection and inability to feel—often from early childhood experiences—causes a block in our heart that may require deeper healing. The first step is believing that the Father (God) has feelings and the next step is asking for that intimate connection with His heart. Please join us in this prayer . . . Father, I desire to feel what You feel . . . first about me and then how You feel about others. I want to live more from my heart and less from my head. I invite You to open my heart and begin to remove anything that hinders me from feeling those things that are in Your heart for me. Your Son, Jesus, lived from a passionate heart and I want that as well. I believe You have made me “in Your image”—feelings and all. Father, like Jesus, I want to “go where You go, say what You say, pray what You pray, and feel what You feel.” I ask this in the name of Your Son, Jesus, Amen.
From the Father’s Heart,
Jerry and Denise Basel
Jesus—Proven Over and Over
How do you pray for people who are dying? Or for friends who face diagnoses of terminal illness? We must look to the Lord, considering Him faithful who made the promise.
I can tell numerous accounts about Jesus healing people all day long and never run out of amazing miracles to tell. For example, there was a young teacher who had become totally disabled. She was bedridden and dependent on friends to lift her from bed, into a wheelchair and to the bathroom, where they did everything for her because her body was shutting down gradually due to an inoperable 4-inch cancer tumor on her spinal cord. Jesus instantly removed it.
In another example, a mother lay comatose in ICU with an inoperable, irremovable blood clot in her brain, medically hopeless. Jesus touched her, and the next day she motioned. The next day she wrote and the day after that, she was walking and talking.
And how about the woman a couple months ago, with the three metal rods in her back held in place by 75 titanium screws who, after He touched her, could touch her toes? And the men whose PSA readings (prostate-specific antigen – cancer readings) plummeted from 4+ to acceptable levels—1.1 in one case, after the prayer of agreement with Jesus? There are so many others, I could talk all day. Each is a precious story of its own. A love letter.
“Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him, how I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er; Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus, oh for grace to trust Him more.” Really, I have proved Him over and over. But my purpose in writing is to share with you what we are experiencing in praying for people who face medical death sentences, but do not see the instant miracle.
When You Don’t See the Instant Miracle, Pray and Don’t Quit!
“…Any moment God can do a miracle.”
I remember after reading about John G. Lake, I was praying for Tommy for over a year, daily, hands on (this was before anyone ever heard of Healing Rooms where people could come to get prayer). But Tommy died of cancer. Some years later, we prayed for Betsy for a year. Betsy died of cancer. And for others, too.
Either these discourage you or make you resolute to push on for the miracles. I want to share with you why we push on for the miracles. A man got bone cancer and it looked bad. On recommendation of a mutual friend, he came here to Albany, Oregon for one week last winter, accompanied by his wife. Different people prayed for him each day. They attended church and the Healing Rooms. We prayed. We laughed in the Holy Spirit. They went home encouraged. But the symptoms progressed. We have prayed for his healing together by phone several times a week. About a month ago, he told me he had more faith for healing than at any other time in his life. He teaches the Bible. As I write this, he survives only by blood transfusions and is now unable to walk and on heavy pain meds. He told me that medically, the end is very near. Even now he says, “But any moment, God can do a miracle.”
Consider Him Faithful Who Made the Promise
When Larkin had a colon cancer removed last summer, they told him that if tumors came back there was nothing further they could do for him. A routine CT scan in January showed they were back. Larkin and his wife flew out here within a week, where people would pray for them for healing, knowing God heals today. And pray they did. Larkin and Julia flew home after three months, having pursued their healing more assertively than anyone I ever met (inner healing, personal ministry sessions, “root causes” courses, constant intercession for each other, healing meetings, healing rooms in two cities weekly, Sunday church services, and daily “soaking” prayer times with prayer ministers).
Larkin insists he simply knows God healed him here. He lights up to talk about Jesus and about God. In his own words, he speaks Paul’s definition of faith. But their symptoms worsened. I say their symptoms, because his wife also had a colon cancer removed last summer at nearly the same time. Julia describes it as seemingly touching your spirit, the effect is so pervasively debilitating. She also has fought breast cancer for over a decade without mastectomy surgeries or chemo. Still, friends here pray for them: special times of intercession, daily Skype, and so forth.
So pray we do, waiting on the Lord for wisdom and revelation, in peace, in expectation. We pray as with our Friend at midnight, our Judge who will give us justice against our adversary, without quitting, because we consider Him faithful who made the promise. It’s all about Him—if He said it, we get to believe it, because we believe Him.
Encouragement to Keep Praying Without Quitting
Because His mercies are new every morning, and the manna fresh every day, anything I can tell you is necessarily incomplete for you. I can share, however, a synopsis of some of the encouragement the Lord has given us during this season of praying and not quitting.
Each of the following bullet points has a history with us in our prayer times in these many months and deserves its own article, but you might remember the list better than more thoughts of mine. For adding to it yourself, seek the Lord and listen to His voice. As you seek the Lord, Scripture will open in ways you did not see before. He will highlight a Scripture you did not understand before. Revelation will come every day or week, enough for the time, to keep praying and not quit.
My synopsis:
1. We know what will happen if we don’t pray. If we don’t pray, we won’t see the miracle; our friend will die.
2. Anyone can have faith for death…
3. …but we, as Christians, of all people get to be different. Read Hebrews 11:11 and Romans 4:17-28.
4. Jesus said pray and don’t quit: Seek, knock, ask; knock even at midnight, when all Heaven has to be roused; pray and don’t stop. Read Matthew 7:7-12; Luke 11:1-13; Luke 18:1-8.
5. Paul said, when we have done all, stand. Read Ephesians 6:13.
6. Don’t give up a day before your miracle! Read Acts chapters 27 and 28.
7. Our prayer will move the mountain. We will see the miracle.
Again, pray we do, waiting on the Lord for wisdom and revelation, in peace, in expectation. We pray as with our Friend at midnight, our Judge who will give us justice against our adversary, without quitting, because we consider Him faithful who made the promise. It’s all about Him—if He said it, we get to believe it, because we believe Him.
This is resolute in me now: Pray and don’t give up.
Mike Brink
Jesus Pursuit Church
Email: brinkmike1@gmail.com
Setting people free is the core of true love. The true wisdom of love and freedom is this: “If you love something, set it free. If it doesn’t come back, it was never yours to begin with.” Love desires freedom and the need to be trusted. If we do not learn to love openly and without fear then the objects of our affection will struggle in their relationship with us. Love gives permission for people to explore their life and identity and to make mistakes in the process. Whenever we do something for the first time, we cannot make a mistake because we haven’t done this before. Therefore we can only learn from what happened. Then we must make an adjustment and try again.
If we do not adjust, but make the same attempt with the same result, then that is a clear mistake. If we continue doing the same thing then a pattern of behavior emerges. With that pattern, we develop a history that will need to be redeemed. A history and a pattern of behavior are two different things. The pattern is the cause; the history is the effect. In relationships, the pattern of behavior is the responsibility of the offender, while the history is in the control of the one not blessed.
Forgiveness is a major part of our own breakthrough and therefore must be done for our sake as a priority. It cannot be demanded of us. Often forgiveness is a process in itself. Without forgiveness there can be no trust and a true expression of love is impossible. People must not be shamed into forgiving. If it is not readily accessible then it will be a process that is designed to produce healing in the one who is wounded. Love values wholeness.
Sometimes history can be forgiven relatively easily, but we still have to live with the pattern in someone’s behavior, until it changes. If it does not change then history will be repeated and we are back to square one in the relationship. When a person does not take steps to change their pattern of behavior, then trust is the casualty.
There is given trust and gained trust. The first is the province of the one wounded. The burden for the second is on the behavior of the one offending. It does not matter which one starts first; both parties are responsible for being who they want to be in the situation. They do not have to start in the same place, but can grow independently and then reconnect later. Every human situation is different.
When we change our pattern of behavior it is not just to win someone back. It is because we are choosing to be a different man or woman. Change must primarily be for our sake or it cannot last the course or pass the tests of time and behavior. All relationships are tested by events; that is how we grow in love, patience, goodness, faithfulness, and trust.
Part of the adjustments that we make is founded on good loving questions that we must ask others and ourselves. Some of my best (not necessarily favorite!) questions are as follows:
What is it that you believe about yourself that makes you act in this way?
What is it that you think about me (her, him, them) that makes you imagine that this behavior is acceptable?
How do you see me (her, him, them) that makes you feel that your behavior is justifiable?
How do you plan to restore trust in this relationship?
When a person is behaving in a way that is self destructive, injurious to others, and without proper consideration, then we must determine a place to start for recovery. Asking the right questions will provide a clearing in the woods, space to breathe, and the possibility for new direction to be received.
We must be careful not to get caught up in this behavior too, while at the same time we want the pattern to be interrupted. Love seeks freedom. If we are the victims of that pattern we must seek the freedom to be loved properly, and to have our own actions defined by love. In the clearing we establish parameters that allow love to be restored if not initially, then eventually. That will depend upon how much trust is in the emotional bank account.
We can accept a person without approving of their behavior. God does that all the time. There is a process even with Him that allows us to become transformed. The first stage is Godly sorrow that leads to repentance. Thinking differently, and then acting in line with that change of perception, is the beginning of repentance. The end of repentance occurs when trust has been restored and transformation achieved. That can be a lengthy process that will involve reconciliation (trust given) and hopefully restoration of relationship (trust regained).
Repentance must have a conclusion or it is not complete. The beginning of repentance is only the start. There is no breakthrough without follow through. Many people have a desire for the end result or repentance, but no regard for the process that guarantees it. The gap between aspiration and achievement can only be filled by development. Given trust can play a part that allows for reconciliation. However, only gained trust can complete the repentance required for restoration.
Sometimes letting someone know you love them, regardless of what they do, is the very thing that will cause them to turn around, although there are no guarantees. Love is never a doormat. Though we may choose to sacrifice for the cause of love, we can never be victims for the sake of it. Love that does not make us whole is no love at all.
-Graham Cooke
